Pure Romance Style #WINology #Winning #Marriage #BlendedFamily

I’m still plugging away at the book WINology by one of my favorite motivational speakers Joel Scrivner.  I’m finding that I really only need to read a few pages at a time to really soak in the material.  It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon.  Ok, maybe it’s a 5k LOL.  Anyway…

The end of Ch. 5 has an assignment from Step 3 – Decisive Action.  It says to (1) write in your journal every area in which you desire to win big (marriage, relationships, vocation, hobbies, fitness, start-up of a business, etc.) ; (2) create positive declarations for every area listed; (3) post some of them in strategic places where you will see them; and (4) start with the ones that you can achieve quickly.  More important than writing them down is DOING THEM!  (I love that part and need that reminder).  In fact, after I read that I came home and put some action behind my business goals that very day.

My personal goals regarding every area in which I want to win big is entirely too long to list here.  But, I will say this – one of my biggest goals these past few years has been to maintain a healthy work-life balance.  That has been so difficult for me in prior years because my career path as an administrative legal assistant/paralegal typically requires around 47-50 hours per week outside of the home once travel is included which means the “life balance” part of life (child rearing, home needs, exercise, having energy for my spouse, having time with my friends, etc.) kept moving to the bottom of the list while work stayed at the top because it had to.  Not intentionally, but that’s just the reality of life when you have two parents who work long hours 5 days a week outside of the home.  So, this current season of my life is devoted to being able to juggle lots of balls in the air without dropping too many of them whereas in the past I definitely juggled lots of balls but seemed to drop most of them.  Too much to juggle.  Not enough time.  That said …

My current BIGGEST goal – though not necessarily the most important one – is the launch of my home based business with Pure Romance (which also helps me stick with my overall and biggest priority of putting my personal life and family in it’s proper order, having the ability to set my own schedule, being available to my family, having time for exercise, having time for my friends and relationships, etc.).  I know so many women who are involved in home based businesses like Advocare, Nerium, Rodan & Fields, Thrive, Beach Body, LipSense, Younique, and so forth.  While their products are great and I love them (especially my LipSense), my passion since I married 7 years ago has been and remains educating women in the areas of the bedroom.  It’s not all about sex or product pushing, it’s about educating and helping women in all areas of their intimate life (cleanliness, sight, touch, smell, taste, etc).

As a paralegal in Grayson County, I probably saw 100 plus divorces.  Maybe more.  Without fail, a large majority of those marriages had intimacy issues in the bedroom.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way saying that a good sex life will prevent divorce, but it sure won’t hurt your marriage.  Marriage is difficult and there are tons of factors involved in marriage daily (communication, fitness/attraction, division of household chores, finances, child rearing, blended family issues, jobs, overloaded schedules, etc.).

It is important for me to remind women that despite all of those other things involved in marriage, the intimacy between you and your husband is priority whether or not your husband remembered to take out the trash that night or worked late.  Gasp!!!  I know right!  I know we women like to control things and like things to go our way, but that man of yours is your MAN and your husband before he is an employee, provider or father.  Also, busy women sometimes have a difficult time removing all of those other hats and just being “a woman”.  Women need to FEEL sexy to be sexy.  And I love helping them do that.

So, where do I currently desire to win big?  In the launch of my home based business which also helps me with Priority #1 in maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

Coffee cheers your way guys.

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Value of the Lost

Sometimes I sit through sermons that I’ve heard what feels like a million times and just kind of check out.  I day dream, scribble notes on paper, draft blog ideas, make a grocery list.  ADD on steroids over here y’all.

About 6-7 years ago James DeMelo gave a sermon at Covenant Church about the Value of the Lost.  He mentioned that in church settings sometimes Christians become a little like … cultish (but he didn’t use that word).  You know, like they make sure they are in their Christian circles and listening to their Christian music and can tend to look down on others who aren’t Christians.  He said that is because they clearly don’t see the value of the lost.  But God does.  God searches and pursues and chases down the lost.  If Christians understood God’s heart for the lost, they wouldn’t treat them they way they do.  Fast forward…

Last weekend I realized that my diamond earring was not in my ear.  The earrings were a very nice gift from my husband about 3 years ago.  And I’ve had them in my ears ever since.  The only time I take them out is when they are inspected and cleaned at the jewelers.  But it was GONE. Like gone gone.

I felt panic.  Then nausea.  It wasn’t pretty.  My husband, myself, my 18 year old son and his friend all sprang into action to seek and search for the missing earring.  It was dark outside, around 10 pm, and we were on our hands and knees using cell phones as flash lights searching every single square inch of the patio.  Jokingly, I thought in my head, is this how serious God is about the lost haha?  Despite my ADD personality during sermons, that sermon sure did pop into my head pretty darn quick when I was searching for something so valuable to me that was lost.

The Parable of the Lost CoinLuke 15:8-10New King James Version (NKJV)

“Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’ 10 Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

I had been at my friends house earlier that day and when I realized the earring was missing I immediately text her to let her know.  And when I found it, I sent a picture of it to her rejoicing that I had found the missing earring.

Talk about a modern day life lesson of a sermon yall.

Coffee cheers your way.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

WINology: World Class Performance

I recently won a copy of the newest book written by one of my favorite motivational speakers ever, Joel Scrivner, called WINology.  I’ve made it through Chapters 1-3.  It’s really good.  Very motivational.  Very encouraging.  Packed with solid advice.  Then I got to the end of Chapter 3 and there’s homework.  Insert all kinds of emoticons here haha.  Look, I love homework and I love journaling.  I’m a bit of an addict actually.  But I have absolutely no idea how to answer these assignments during this transition season of life.  It’s difficult to pin point a moving target.  But, here goes anyway.

List the areas of my life where I am most diligent and best practice Urgent Excellence:  personal finances (hello Dave Ramsey plan) and career (business building).  I’d say I’m more diligent with business building though because I still binge spend too often (I mean, that item may not ever be at Costco again and if I don’t buy it now …).  Delayed gratification is no longer my strength though I used to be really good at it.

Celebrate areas of exercising diligence and seeing positive results:  It’s definitely not my best or most diligent by any means, but I’ve made exercise a priority (2-4 days a week) since Oct or Nov of last year and am really feeling so much stronger, more confident and am sleeping 10 times better.  If my body would catch up that would be great.  Flab be gone! Seriously though, I would like to be more consistent in this area but at the same time it’s the best I’ve done in 3 years.

Areas where I need to be more urgent or excellent: relationships (ex. marriage, parenting, etc.).  I find this area of my life particularly exhausting at times which I’ve heard means you’re doing it right haha.  Let’s hope that’s the case.  People can be so draining though.  Thank goodness for my girlfriend group.  Great girls they are.

Write a personal statement of affirmation for your victories followed by a statement regarding your decisions to improve:  You’re doing great but don’t forget consistency is key.

It’s time to plug forward to Chapter 4.

Coffee cheers your way guys.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Three Feet of Water #BG #BrantleyGilbert

Well, my boy did it again.

I just love Brantley Gilbert and his mad song writing skills.  It’s like every album he releases hits each side of human experiences possible whether it’s the fun party mode side (Bottoms Up or The Weekend), standing up against domestic violence and abuse (Read Me My Rights or Bullet in a Bonfire) and then the spiritual side (Just As I Am and now Three Feet of Water).  With song albums named Halfway to Heaven, A Modern Day Prodigal Son, Just As I Am and The Devil Don’t Sleep, you can really see his spiritual journey over the years and see him transform through the music even though he’s a secular artist.

His current album The Devil Don’t Sleep has the best song about baptism that I’ve ever heard.  It’s exactly how I’ve felt throughout my own spiritual journey.  Can faith really save us?  Am I really forgiven?  Is there really new life?  Does this Christian thing really work?  We all have our doubts at times right?  At least I do.

This song is so good y’all.  The lyrics are:

Three Feet Of Water

Got a whole lot of years
And a whole lot of pain
And it all got me here
Where the river meets the clay
Rewindin’ through my past
Tryin to find some good
But I can’t seem to see
What mama always could

And that sun is shinin’ down
On all my darker days
They’re comin’ to me now
As I hear the preacher say
In the name of the Son and the Father
Can I really leave it all
In three feet of water?

I can’t unbreak the laws
Straighten out the rules I’ve bent
Take the broken dreams and hearts
Make ’em all whole again
I been carryin’ around
All the messes that I’ve made
But a few more steps from now
They’ll all be washed away

And that sun is shinin’ down
On all my darker days
They’re comin’ to me now
As I hear the preacher say
In the name of the Son and the Father
Who’d’ve thought I could leave it all
In three feet of water
Washin’ over me
Amazing Grace the choir sings
And now I know what mercy’s all about

And that sun is shinin’ down
And all my darker days
They’re nowhere to be found
All that preacher had to say
Was in the name of the Son and the Father
Who’d’ve thought I could leave it all?
You took my cross so I could leave it all
In three feet of water
Mmm, in three feet of water

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Art of Simplicity

Good morning from Texas y’all 🙂

It’s a beautiful day on the patio.  I’ve got my laptop, coffee and can hear the birds chirping.  Hubs has left for work and the kids have left for school.  It’s QUIET and gorgeous out here.  Seriously, it doesn’t get better than this for a weekday (except for maybe doing the same thing from a beach front patio haha) and I am about to go to the dentist.  Ewe.  Anyway…

I saw an article yesterday on social media called the 40 Hanger Closet.  It said to go buy 40 beautiful, stylish hangers and put your best 40 pieces of clothing on them and get rid of everything else.  Get rid of the excess.  Last week on the Steve Harvey Show,  he said he is reading a book called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.  In the past I’ve seen a Bible Study go around called The Best Yes.  Sometimes you have to say no to things that are good so that you can say Yes to what’s best.  When we fill our time (or closets) with unnecessary things, it takes up time and space for what we really need.

What I am seeing is the repetitive pattern that one of the keys to success is clearing out the clutter in your life.  The unnecessary white noise.

For me, that has meant clearing out the closets, drawers (except for that makeup drawer… oh my that’s going to take all day), and yes some of the people who maybe were not “bad” for me but they were not “good” for me either.  And let me tell you something…It feels good!

I am truly learning the art of simplicity though I am a complicated woman (or can be haha).

Reminder to self: keep doing it.

And I’m putting that out there in case you too need this little reminder.

Coffee cheers your way guys.

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How Deep is the Mud… Haha #Life

how-deep-is-the-mud

I saw this and was like oh YES YES YES.  How deep is the mud?  Sometimes I’m the big dog and sometimes I’m the little dog.  Some days I seem to be able to handle so much more and other days it feels like the slightest rocking of the boat makes me feel like I’m drowning.

These dogs clearly went through the same mud yet one of them only got dirty from the knees down.  Oh how I wish I was always that big dog LOL.

I’m realizing that so much of how I perceive stress or chaos from the outside world depends on the time of the month it is (hello evil hormones &%#@), how much sleep I’ve had, whether I have exercised, whether I’m stressed out at home with an overloaded schedule… there are so many other factors involved than just the mud I’m going through.

We’ve got to stay strong y’all.  Ok, well I do.

To big dogs and little dogs everywhere, coffee cheers your way!!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Speak Up Y’all …

speak-up

My husband is very much a peacekeeper or conflict avoider.  Unfortunately, sometimes it is to the point that he’s a door mat (anyone else ever been there?  I know I have LOL).

Recently, in the blended family realm, my adult son has been coming home later and later, disappearing overnight without asking or letting us know … basically engaging in all of those “I’m an adult now I can do what I want activities” (which we knew he would do once he turned 18 because that’s how he is).  And it’s driving my husband crazy (well, both of us but I don’t mind talking with the child).

Hubster wants to avoid conflict and keep the peace but he looked at me and said “I’m concerned by me not saying anything or having a meeting with him that he’s taking my silence as being ok with his behavior and it’s not ok.”  And from my perspective, it does make me feel like the naggy, complaining mom because it seems like I’m handling parental and discipline matters on my own.

Another example – the Hubster’s ex-spouse has repeatedly violated their court order recently.  Over and over again.  She’s withholding information about his daughter, failing (ok completely refusing) to answer his basic questions about a car wreck the child was in with her, failing to pay her portion of the boys medical bills, etc.  However, rarely if ever does he hold her accountable or confront her about her actions.  Again, he comes across appearing as the behavior is acceptable in order to avoid conflict. (Well, he has a lawyer now to finally enforce the order but that’s a different blog)

In other teaching lessons, I have told our teens that if they are ever in a car with someone who commits a crime and they know about it and they don’t say anything or tell us then they are guilty of having committed that crime also (basically, if your buddy steals stuff from the convenient store, you can’t just go along with it you have to let us know or the police are going to say you both robbed the store).  Same concept, right?  If you fail to confront it, you appear to approve or endorse it regardless of how you “feel” about it.

You teach people how to treat you and it is so true … “What you refuse to address, you endorse”.  Don’t get me wrong, we don’t have to walk around being code enforcement or rude by any means, but it is so important to speak up regarding the essential matters.

Y’all, I (and the hubs) am tired of being silent on important topics just to avoid conflict.  I am tired of looking like I approve and endorse certain things because I don’t say anything.  Don’t get me wrong, I need to improve my communications skills for sure (more tact, gentle voice tone, eye contact, face to face discussions instead of emails or texts, etc.) but I definitely need to speak up.

How about you?  Are we in this together?

Coffee cheers your way guys.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment