Three Feet of Water #BG #BrantleyGilbert

Well, my boy did it again.

I just love Brantley Gilbert and his mad song writing skills.  It’s like every album he releases hits each side of human experiences possible whether it’s the fun party mode side (Bottoms Up or The Weekend), standing up against domestic violence and abuse (Read Me My Rights or Bullet in a Bonfire) and then the spiritual side (Just As I Am and now Three Feet of Water).  With song albums named Halfway to Heaven, A Modern Day Prodigal Son, Just As I Am and The Devil Don’t Sleep, you can really see his spiritual journey over the years and see him transform through the music even though he’s a secular artist.

His current album The Devil Don’t Sleep has the best song about baptism that I’ve ever heard.  It’s exactly how I’ve felt throughout my own spiritual journey.  Can faith really save us?  Am I really forgiven?  Is there really new life?  Does this Christian thing really work?  We all have our doubts at times right?  At least I do.

This song is so good y’all.  The lyrics are:

Three Feet Of Water

Got a whole lot of years
And a whole lot of pain
And it all got me here
Where the river meets the clay
Rewindin’ through my past
Tryin to find some good
But I can’t seem to see
What mama always could

And that sun is shinin’ down
On all my darker days
They’re comin’ to me now
As I hear the preacher say
In the name of the Son and the Father
Can I really leave it all
In three feet of water?

I can’t unbreak the laws
Straighten out the rules I’ve bent
Take the broken dreams and hearts
Make ’em all whole again
I been carryin’ around
All the messes that I’ve made
But a few more steps from now
They’ll all be washed away

And that sun is shinin’ down
On all my darker days
They’re comin’ to me now
As I hear the preacher say
In the name of the Son and the Father
Who’d’ve thought I could leave it all
In three feet of water
Washin’ over me
Amazing Grace the choir sings
And now I know what mercy’s all about

And that sun is shinin’ down
And all my darker days
They’re nowhere to be found
All that preacher had to say
Was in the name of the Son and the Father
Who’d’ve thought I could leave it all?
You took my cross so I could leave it all
In three feet of water
Mmm, in three feet of water

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The Art of Simplicity

Good morning from Texas y’all 🙂

It’s a beautiful day on the patio.  I’ve got my laptop, coffee and can hear the birds chirping.  Hubs has left for work and the kids have left for school.  It’s QUIET and gorgeous out here.  Seriously, it doesn’t get better than this for a weekday (except for maybe doing the same thing from a beach front patio haha) and I am about to go to the dentist.  Ewe.  Anyway…

I saw an article yesterday on social media called the 40 Hanger Closet.  It said to go buy 40 beautiful, stylish hangers and put your best 40 pieces of clothing on them and get rid of everything else.  Get rid of the excess.  Last week on the Steve Harvey Show,  he said he is reading a book called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.  In the past I’ve seen a Bible Study go around called The Best Yes.  Sometimes you have to say no to things that are good so that you can say Yes to what’s best.  When we fill our time (or closets) with unnecessary things, it takes up time and space for what we really need.

What I am seeing is the repetitive pattern that one of the keys to success is clearing out the clutter in your life.  The unnecessary white noise.

For me, that has meant clearing out the closets, drawers (except for that makeup drawer… oh my that’s going to take all day), and yes some of the people who maybe were not “bad” for me but they were not “good” for me either.  And let me tell you something…It feels good!

I am truly learning the art of simplicity though I am a complicated woman (or can be haha).

Reminder to self: keep doing it.

And I’m putting that out there in case you too need this little reminder.

Coffee cheers your way guys.

 

 

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How Deep is the Mud… Haha #Life

how-deep-is-the-mud

I saw this and was like oh YES YES YES.  How deep is the mud?  Sometimes I’m the big dog and sometimes I’m the little dog.  Some days I seem to be able to handle so much more and other days it feels like the slightest rocking of the boat makes me feel like I’m drowning.

These dogs clearly went through the same mud yet one of them only got dirty from the knees down.  Oh how I wish I was always that big dog LOL.

I’m realizing that so much of how I perceive stress or chaos from the outside world depends on the time of the month it is (hello evil hormones &%#@), how much sleep I’ve had, whether I have exercised, whether I’m stressed out at home with an overloaded schedule… there are so many other factors involved than just the mud I’m going through.

We’ve got to stay strong y’all.  Ok, well I do.

To big dogs and little dogs everywhere, coffee cheers your way!!!

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Speak Up Y’all …

speak-up

My husband is very much a peacekeeper or conflict avoider.  Unfortunately, sometimes it is to the point that he’s a door mat (anyone else ever been there?  I know I have LOL).

Recently, in the blended family realm, my adult son has been coming home later and later, disappearing overnight without asking or letting us know … basically engaging in all of those “I’m an adult now I can do what I want activities” (which we knew he would do once he turned 18 because that’s how he is).  And it’s driving my husband crazy (well, both of us but I don’t mind talking with the child).

Hubster wants to avoid conflict and keep the peace but he looked at me and said “I’m concerned by me not saying anything or having a meeting with him that he’s taking my silence as being ok with his behavior and it’s not ok.”  And from my perspective, it does make me feel like the naggy, complaining mom because it seems like I’m handling parental and discipline matters on my own.

Another example – the Hubster’s ex-spouse has repeatedly violated their court order recently.  Over and over again.  She’s withholding information about his daughter, failing (ok completely refusing) to answer his basic questions about a car wreck the child was in with her, failing to pay her portion of the boys medical bills, etc.  However, rarely if ever does he hold her accountable or confront her about her actions.  Again, he comes across appearing as the behavior is acceptable in order to avoid conflict. (Well, he has a lawyer now to finally enforce the order but that’s a different blog)

In other teaching lessons, I have told our teens that if they are ever in a car with someone who commits a crime and they know about it and they don’t say anything or tell us then they are guilty of having committed that crime also (basically, if your buddy steals stuff from the convenient store, you can’t just go along with it you have to let us know or the police are going to say you both robbed the store).  Same concept, right?  If you fail to confront it, you appear to approve or endorse it regardless of how you “feel” about it.

You teach people how to treat you and it is so true … “What you refuse to address, you endorse”.  Don’t get me wrong, we don’t have to walk around being code enforcement or rude by any means, but it is so important to speak up regarding the essential matters.

Y’all, I (and the hubs) am tired of being silent on important topics just to avoid conflict.  I am tired of looking like I approve and endorse certain things because I don’t say anything.  Don’t get me wrong, I need to improve my communications skills for sure (more tact, gentle voice tone, eye contact, face to face discussions instead of emails or texts, etc.) but I definitely need to speak up.

How about you?  Are we in this together?

Coffee cheers your way guys.

 

 

 

 

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New Year 2017 #2017 #Contentment

contentmentHappy New Year Y’all!

Every new year I try to write down some goals, thoughts or reminders in my journal.  But this year, I really did not have a clue what to plan because I had already started my “reset” toward the end of last year (after all that’s what new years goals are all about, right?  Pushing the reset button).  For the past 6-8 weeks I’ve been working out faithfully, downsizing my garage and closet, selling things I don’t need, starting up a couple of self-employment opportunities, volunteering more time at the boys schools, catching up on home projects, and learning to put myself and my needs before everyone else (trust me, I needed that one).   So when 2017 rolled around, I actually did not have too much to “reset”.  A hope to keep it going maybe but that’s about it.  Then I saw this little reminder nugget on Dave Ramsey’s social media page.

Saving money starts with contentment.  Contentment.  There’s that dreaded word again.  Y’all, I am NOT a naturally content woman.  And I’m not talking about money.  We’ve been working our Dave Ramsey plan and living on less and saving more for a while.  The money contentment part is not the most difficult part for me.  Contentment in general is the difficult part for me.  Such as learning to be content as a middle aged, suburbia-living woman, wife, mother and employee.  Learning to be content just being content.

Secretly I’ve always been a little jealous of women who are completely content just getting married, having children, taking their kids to the park, or finding their dream job.  I can honestly say that I truly suffer from ADD microwave rabbit brain.  I get bored in under 15 minutes with just about anything and everything and everyone.  I am RARELY ever – if ever – content.  Unless I’m in a zillion different projects running around like a psychopath, I’m bored.  And during the rat race, I’m not content either because I’m moody and exhausted.  It’s like there’s no balance for me.  My scale is either exhausted and grumpy or bored to tears (ok maybe it’s a little exaggerated but you get the point right?)

What if this little reminder said “saving your marriage starts with contentment” or “saving your sanity starts with contentment” or “saving your friendships starts with contentment”…?  I have a feeling that contentment in and of itself does so much more for us than we know although it does seem to wrestle with our natural inner struggle to make goals and achieve them, to always strive for more, to always challenge ourselves to be better.  Or maybe it’s not a wrestling match at all.  Maybe it’s just about balance.

Either way y’all, this reminder is for me and if you need it too, that’s awesome.

Coffee cheers and best wishes to you all in 2017.  Happy New Year!!!

 

 

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Perspective Reminder

perspectiveI saw this on social media and just loved it.  What a great reminder!  I find that I tend to gravitate toward “situational happiness” (once I get that next car, purse, partner, job, when my son graduates, when the house is remodeled, etc. then I’ll really be happy).  But the truth is that it’s really all about perspective and what I focus on.  Yes, there are legitimate good days and bad days.  But I do want to make the BEST of what I have today and focus on the positive.

Social media hugs y’all 🙂

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The Journey Continues

walk-away

I saw this last week and it really rubbed me.  I so want to be this type of girl – this self worth girl – but I’m not.  This life journey is a lot about learning who I can trust, who I can’t and what to do with that information.  Learning to build healthy relationships and being able to remove myself from toxic ones and being able to let others go.  That’s really hard for me because I don’t really cling to people often so when I do it’s full force like I’m Velcro or gum on the bottom of a shoe.   I just don’t let go when I should.  I fight too hard sometimes  creating my own resistance.

I had to chew on this: “the moment that you prove that your value of me does not measure up to my sense of self-worth”… I have realized that my self worth for years has been in being a doer.  Achieving.  Being helpful.  Being needed.  It actually became my purpose.  Unfortunately, that also resulted in realizing that a lot of people only wanted me in their life for their own benefit and gain.  When they needed me, they wanted me.  When they no longer needed me, they discarded me.  At one point I was a board room vote. Like congress. Do we keep her or discard her? Or maybe hold on to her for later?  Like I was no longer a person at times … just a burden or mouth to feed.  And that has gone on for so long in my life as a whole that I began to see it as normal and acceptable.  Just part of life.  But really, it shows another area of weakness within myself that I needed to work on which is gaining a sense of purpose apart from works and apart from others and learning to love myself.

I have been talking this week with a girl from my hometown who is looking at making a career change into the legal field (God help her haha).   Today I asked her whether or not she is going to resign from her current job and take an open legal position.  She said she was still weighing her options but that she sure doesn’t want to miss this job opportunity being loyal to a company that doesn’t have loyalty for her.  Man, I so wish I had that mindset back when I were getting job offers.  Due to my loyalty to a group of grown professional men who I believed “needed me”, I allowed them to take priority over what I needed and what was best for myself and my family.  I became emotionally involved in their well-being always hoping for the best for them and their careers at my own expense.  And it just makes me want to kick myself in the butt.  Not all the time.  Not daily.  But sometimes.  It’s like I have 10 great days then a low day.  One step forward, two steps back.  Three steps forward, one step back.  I know I’m making daily progress forward but the emotional back and forth can drive me batty some days. And I miss them.  Their jokes, witty nature, sarcasm, humor… the good parts of their personalities.  I spent more time with them than my own family so sometimes I find myself lonely and missing the buzz around the office, their memes and hysterical emojis.  Self employment is a gift and I’m very thankful for it.  But it really can be lonely at times especially since I am so dang social.

So let me ask you just in case you find yourself to be a little like me… Where does your worth lie?  Is your worth and sense of purpose dependent on a spouse who needs you, kids who need you, a job that needs you?  If so, what happens when those people or positions no longer need you?  It reminds me of the “empty nest syndrome” some mothers feel once all of their kids graduate and move off.  So much of their life was devoted to child rearing that they don’t know what to do once that season of life is over.

So, for the millionth time, I am reminding myself that life is a journey.  Not a destination.   People come.  People go.  Find your purpose.  Live life to the fullest.  Be yourself.  Be your own best friend.  Take care of you.  You are worth it.

 

 

 

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