The Proverbs 31 Husband

What if the Proverbs 31 Woman was only able to be the Proverbs 31 Woman because she was married to the Proverbs 31 man?

I remember being a divorced mother of 3, working 35-45 hours a week, driving kids to activities 3-4 days a week and burning out from both ends. Heck, I think my ends had strands like a rope being shred from the middle LOL. I would be at church and hear the verse Prov 31:15 “She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls” and would think to myself “I’ll never be a Prov 31 woman because that’s just too early in the morning for me” Haha. But my very next thought would be: but maybe if I had a hard working husband, a true partner in life and some servants aka hired household help (oh like maybe an assistant or a housekeeper or some child care help) then maybe I wouldn’t be so exhausted and might be able to crawl out of bed to prepare breakfast for my household.

Clearly, the Proverbs 31 man was also a very respectful and honorable man because he was well known at the city gates where he sat with the other civic leaders (at least we hope our city leaders are honorable if you know what I mean). I’m pretty sure he also had a good job, a great credit score and a decent savings account because the Prov 31 woman was able to “go inspect a field and buy it”. Must be nice being married to a Prov 31 Man. Like HELLO!!! I don’t mind going to check out a new field aka house and buy it. Cha Ching. 

The Prov 31 Husband was also so very supportive and encouraging. I mean, it says her husband praised her saying “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” What woman doesn’t want to be made to feel like one in a million? Or better yet, the best one of all time who surpasses them all. Woo Hoo.

I know so many women that GROAN when they hear about the Proverbs 31 woman and how it seems so out of reach, but take it from me, when you’re married to the Proverbs 31 Man, that changes everything. Trust me.

Coffee cheers from Texas y’all.

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A Home Buying Lesson

Hubster and I decided to move this summer so that our future high school freshman can start school at a smaller, different campus than the huge one we are currently zoned in. We LOVE our current house. It was actually our dream home and we fully intended it to be our “forever home” but the kids are really needing a school campus change. We are all needing a change. So we sat down to talk and discussed the things we’d change or add to our new dream home if we could (things like no carpet in the living area due to our dog, an extra parking space so kids and guests don’t have to park in the street, a bench in the shower so I can stop shaving my legs on the shower floor, etc.) And low and behold, the VERY FIRST house we looked at had just about every single thing we had said we wanted and needed as well as 3-4 other personal touches that Hubs and I had mentioned “would be nice” to have (like a desk area in the open living area, a closet in the office, etc.) and it really made me think…

We sometimes eavesdrop on our kids to see what they are saying. One day we overheard one of the kids say he really wanted to save the money to buy a certain item. Then a few months later, that’s exactly what we gave him for his birthday gift. He was so excited! As parents, we knew the desires of the child’s heart and decided to give him that gift knowing how thankful he would be (for the moment anyway haha).

So, what if God overheard our conversation on the patio that evening and just so happened to lead us to that particular house, in that particular school, in that particular neighborhood knowing that it would be the perfect place and perfect home for us for this season of life? What if God is an eavesdropping Father – like we are – who decided to bless us just because He can?

And if that is the case, isn’t that the sweetest, best thing ever?

Coffee cheers your way 🙂

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The Heart of David – Psa 35

I found myself reading Psalms 35 (NLT version) again this week and just love it. It showed up in a social media memory so I pulled it up again and, without fail, I find something that applies to daily life each and every time.

Do you ever feel like someone has tried to trap you? I sure have. People – if you let them – will push, push, push, push, poke and then when you finally respond or snap they sit back and say “haha… got ya”. I’m learning through trial and error, life experience, and life lessons to STOP RESPONDING to people whose only goal is to do me and my family harm. Instead, I’m attempting to – very imperfectly – turn my frustration into prayer.

Psa 35: O Lord, oppose those who oppose me. Fight those who fight against me… Prepare for battle and come to my aid. Lift up your spear and javelin against those who pursue me… humiliate those who want to harm me. Blow them away like chaff in the wind – a wind sent by the angel of the Lord. Make their path dark and slippery… let sudden ruin come upon them! Let them be caught in the trap they set for me! Malicious witnesses testify against me (oh yes, I’ve been lied about in court more than once…). Repay me evil for good… Rescue me from their fierce attacks. Protect my life from these lions!

I think we all have lions and enemies. If that’s you or you are going through a major trial or struggle, check out Psalms 35. Hopefully it will give you as much peace as it gives me during the treacherous moments.

Coffee cheers your way.


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A Closet Clean Out Lesson

A few months ago, Hubster decided it was time to clean out all of the clutter we’ve accumulated over the past 6 years since moving into our house. And boy did he. The attic, closets, kids rooms, (the garage is still overflowing … uh hem), etc. But there are a few drawers I use that are “off limits” to Hubs because they are MINE!!! You know, the ones that have all of my “girlie” stuff in them.

Today I started pulling out some of the items to see what I could throw away (Hubs would be so proud). And way back in the back behind everything else, up against the back wall of the drawer, I found my old favorite eye color & highlighter (Bare Minerals Clear Radiance) that’s probably about 10 years old now. For me, when something starts running very low, I hold onto the container as a reminder to order some more. In this case, instead of using the rest of it, I put it away to preserve it and only use it on special occasions until I could order some more. Have you ever done that? My daughter has a favorite shave lotion and she said that when it starts getting low she stops using it regularly to try to make it last. Well, that’s what I did with this eye & face color. EXCEPT that in the process of trying to preserve it, it got lost in my drawer, forgotten about, and now it’s expired and wasted.

Isn’t that quite the spiritual lesson as well? Many things in life are “use it or lose it”. Which reminds me of the Parable of the Three Servants (Matt 25:14-30). 24 “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. 25 I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it in the earth. Look, here is your money back.’ 26 “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate,27 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’ 28 “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant, and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. 29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 

Am I using the gifts and talents God has given me or am I hiding them? What about you? If real life is “use it or lose it” are you using it, or losing it?

Just food for thought. Iced tea cheers your way and have a GREAT day 🙂


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Strengthen Others

Hubster and I have been cleaning out the attic, closets, cabinets and other clutter in our house for months now. It initially started to make some room for a few boxes and has turned into a mission to go ahead and offload some furniture and downsize a bit.

Yesterday I was clearing out my entertainment center shelves and found my old flipbook of index cards where I would write down scripture reminders to myself. One of the index cards was this verse (Luke 22:31-32 NLT): Jesus said, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”

I can absolutely verify that I have been sifted. My family has been sifted. Life is HARD. This past year, good friends of mine have gone through absolute hell with things like their child being sexually assaulted, having a child murdered, losing family members. When life hits me that hard, I find it can be easy to feel like I’ve been sifted and turn away from God, friends, and people in general. But I love this little tid bit. Jesus has pleaded for us in prayer that our faith should not fail. And when we’ve turned back to God, we should strengthen others.

I love this reminder y’all. We are guaranteed to have trouble in this life, but we have a cheerleader who has prayed for us. And that makes my little faith heart happy 🙂

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Social Media Good Deeds

I was mindlessly scrolling through social media this weekend and could not help but notice so many churches blasting their good deeds. Some had photos giving away a car to someone in need, another had photos of them feeding the homeless, another showing canned food and clothing collections. I totally understand that we live in a social media advertising type culture but it just struck me as odd. Actually, it rubbed me the wrong way a little because that’s how religious people used to give back in the day announcing their good deeds to bring attention to themselves.

Matthew 6 says: Teaching about Giving to the Needy – “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.

Does that apply to churches today? Does it apply to social media posts?

Just food for thought.

Coffee cheers your way 🙂


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Lawsuit and Child Custody Stress… Part 2

Every day I receive notifications about views, likes, comments and messages over the blog Lawsuit and Child Custody Stress… How I Prayed.

There were over 17 views today, 10 yesterday, 114 since January 1, 3,497 in 2018, and over 10,000-15,000 since it was originally posted. My heart goes out to each and every one of you that finds yourself in the situation to need that blog. There is nothing more difficult or gut wrenching emotionally than issues surrounding your kids whether medically, through divorce, through loss, etc. If someone goes after me, I’m ok with that. But if they go after my child, oh wow… it’s WAR.

This came up as a memory of mine on social media today so I thought I’d share it with you in case you need this reminder. Luke 18:1-8.

18 One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. “There was a judge in a certain city,”he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’”

Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man[a] returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”

So many people in religious circles will tell you that if you have great faith, you only need to pray once and believe you received when you first prayed. As for me, I will continue to pray to the Lord often, daily and frequently seeking and hoping for justice.

Coffee cheers your way. Hang in there y’all 🙂

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Thanksgiving 2018

Every year I like to make a thankful journal entry. In life – in MY life anyway – it’s so easy for me to see the things I don’t like and the things I wish were different or better in my life. So Thanksgiving gives me the chance – forces me – to consider the great parts of my life and recognize them. So, this year’s thankful awards go to: holding onto the majority of my goals for this year for the first time in forever (consistently attending exercise classes, starting my new public blog, dropping a few pounds), having the surgery I’ve needed for years, having another full year with my crazy baby Yorkie doggie Abbie, and having sweet little Annie (the maltese) added to our family.

When Abbie started having age related health issues (shes 14 1/2), I was so worried that I’d never find another dog love. I felt my love for little Abbie was so big and so strong that I’d never be able to feel that again. Ever. That reminded me of when I was pregnant with my 2nd child. I wondered if somehow I’d be able to love the 2nd baby the way I loved the 1st. It seemed impossible. And with Kiddo 3, I learned the capacity to love others can be endless if you let it. He was the best love baby ever. Since then, I’ve been able to love even more children. Maybe God gives us an endless capacity to love and we just don’t use it. (P.S. I’ve heard from many people that this theory does not work on widows so I’m staying out of that field house).

I was NOT able to figure out my future career path in 2018 like I’d hoped to but I have been able to start pursuing my passion of self employment, relationship enrichment, blogging, etc. which I’ve always wanted to do. Who knows, maybe that will be my future employment. But honestly, there is still “something missing”. I’m not sure what it is, I just feel like I will know when it’s no longer missing LOL.

Last but not least, I am super thankful for Hubster and his continuous support in all of the endeavors that I pursue in life. In prior dating relationships, it seemed like I was always the cheerleader and the one putting in the effort and doing all the work to help push the man forward. This is the first time that I’ve had a cheerleader and true support role in my personal life with a real TEAM mentality. If money were no object, I’d totally hire him full time and keep him a kept man HAHA. But until then…

I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving and wish you a wonderful New Year.

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Loyalty Binds – The Binds That Blind

I’m in a Stepmom Group on social media and they occasionally mention Loyalty Binds or mention that certain behaviors are the result of a loyalty bind. As I started looking into it, I realized that many people are blinded by loyalty binds. Not just children. Whether it’s a child to a parent, a parent to a child, a pastor to a member of the congregation, people to their churches, an employee to an employer, etc. people can be blinded and, as a result, make poor choices due to loyalty binds. They are the binds that blind.

I firmly believe that when you are “loyal to a fault”, you sometimes cannot see the truth for what it is. Facts appear distorted. It’s one of the reasons why attorneys interview potential jurors to see if they can uncover any particular bias or prejudice within a person. Bias, prejudice, loyalty binds … they all distort the TRUTH.

This really is a note to self because I’ve fallen for the loyalty bind game a few times in my life and regret it. For example, a few years ago I got a really good job offer. I had applied with the company back when they didn’t have any openings and ended up getting a different job. When the job did come open and they called me in to interview, I declined because I felt guilty for doing that to the new company especially after my new boss telling me how much he needed me the week before. Well, within a year the new company employee moral was at an all time low and the company ended up folding. In hindsight, I could see that I should have taken that other position. After all, it is the one that I really wanted and when the time came, I missed out due to a loyalty bind.

At a church my kids used to go to, the youth group leaders made out with each other sexually in front of the kids (multiple times even saying “look what you’re in for when you get married”). Many parents like myself were furious, while others were so blinded by their relationship with the youth leaders and the church itself that they chose to close their eyes and pretend nothing had happened. Their loyalty made them unable to see the difference in right and wrong.

In another situation I knew that I needed to cut off my relationship with a “friend”. I even mentioned it to my other friends. But she was also my hair dresser and I felt “guilty” leaving her business and friendship. After all, all people have negative sides and no relationship is perfect. Within a year, that “friend” ended up being one of the worst things that happened to me or my family based on lies & slander (probably because I made new friends and stopped including her in my activities). I was loyal to a fault and it ended up hurting me and my family deeply.

In my blended family small group, there is a woman in there who feels a loyalty bind to her son but to a fault. Her son is grown, will not work, is using drugs, yet her loyalty to him makes her not want to kick him out of the house. At that point, is it loyalty or enabling? Just food for thought.

In another situation, we were reaching out to the kids’ children’s and youth group pastors about issues our kids were having, but their loyalty to the parent who attends their church made it impossible to have any real discussions because everything we said went back to the other parent as opposed to being used to help the CHILD.

Note to self. Watch out for loyalty binds y’all. Be wise in your relationships. Attempt to make decisions based on what is right rather than out of guilt or emotion. Yes, it can be difficult to do, but you’ll be better for it.

Iced coffee cheers your way 🙂


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One Heart

I have meditated on this verse for about 6 years. Is this possible? Whether it’s marriage and discussing cabinet colors, couples discussing finances, or blended families discussing topics about the children they share… let’s not even mention race, politics or church affiliation. Is likemindedness possible in the year 2018?

We all seem to be united by the lines that divide us rather than what brings us together anymore.

As the Doubting Thomas that I am, and may always will be, I’d ask God to personally show me that this concept is possible 🙏🏻

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