Good Morning Blogging Land 🙂
It’s been a little too long since I’ve logged my journal reminders and challenges to self from this book so without further wait… here goes.
If we are truly going to honor the person we were designed to be, we must answer this question: The girl inside you, where should she be and what should she be doing? (Sigh… this one is so tough for me because it feels like there are many things that I am meant to do but it also seems like I am in that awkward junior high phase of life or in some kind of airplane holding pattern. It’s difficult to explain LOL but maybe it’s really all about timing).
Remember: knowing who you are is a PROCESS. Self-understanding, self-appreciation, and self-love are things you can build over time as you give yourself the grace to learn what makes you “you”. You have to believe in who you are. Value the “gift of you”. You are a soul. You are created. You are unique. Most women struggle at some point in their lives to keep that special design in mind. We get ditched by the boy, stressed by our finances, fired from the job, snubbed by our kids, bored with life, disgusted by our weight gain, ashamed of our wrinkles, and are left wondering if we actually matter (has this woman been inside of my head LOL? Do ALL women really feel this way at some point? Lord knows I do!) Be patient with yourself. Self-discovery is a lifelong process.
I love the challenging questions she asks in Ch. 7. Such as “at what point did the marriage go sour? When did the breach between family members grow to the point that communication ceased? Why did the business partnership end…?” I never really thought about these situations as being so universal and applying to everyone. But really, they do. Almost every person I meet or talk to has been divorced or has some serious mommy issues or daddy issues or sibling issues or hurts and hang-ups. Despite our human differences in religious beliefs, political affiliation, sexual orientation, skin color, career choice, etc. we really do have sooooooo much in common. We just have to be patient enough to peel back all of the layers to see it sometimes. And of course, we have to learn the master skill of overlooking offense (I’m still working through that one).
The author goes even further to call out the actions of others that ended up wounding so many women that I know such as: when the neighbor’s son violated you, it affected your view of men. When your mother critiqued you, when your very best was not good enough, it caused you to feel as if you could never measure up. The cruel words other kids aimed at you found their mark. And when that man hit you with his own two hands the first time, you were stunned, but each time you chose to stay, you allowed your self-worth and value to be eroded bit by bit. Y’all, in the world of contested family law litigation, I saw every one of these situations first hand over and over and over again. I’m so thankful to see someone – this author – willing to put these realities out there.
She wraps up Ch. 7 very nicely with much encouragement. That even when we feel that things are beyond repair, nothing is beyond repair when placed in the hands of the One who can make something out of nothing. That is where she met God and if you’ve read my story, you know that is exactly where I met God too. During those desperate and impossible moments of life where I felt the most helpless (and was).
“It’s not enough to know you are a unique, divinely created soul. You must believe it… You are loved. You are accepted. You are valuable.” Yes!!!
That was my homework to self in those chapters. BELIEVING (which takes Faith, right) that I am a uniquely, divinely created soul that has gifts and abilities that only I can complete. That I am loved and I am valuable.
Now, repeat that with me ten times LOL.
Thank you Chrystal Evans Hurst for these great reminders.