DISCLAIMER: I’ve been divorced, Hubster has been divorced, our friends have been divorced, and we get it. We aren’t judging others for getting divorced (and I certainly support separation if abuse is involved!!!). But I’m kind of over it. That said…
I so love country music. Not grass roots country (sorry guys) but the new, fun, upbeat rockish popish country music. And somewhere in that mix is my favorite power couple duo Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert. So, when Hubster’s 15 year old daughter was over last weekend for her visit, she asked me what I thought about their divorce. Oh she knew I was going to have something to say. And here’s what I said:
“Oh girl, I’m so bummed about that. Seriously. I haven’t been this sad about a couple splitting since Nick & Jessica. Almost every marriage has that season where marriage just sucks, it’s annoying, it’s frustrating, you’re sick of living with the other person, you regret getting married, you wished you were single, you both have changed, your different people now, the butterflies are gone, it’s hard, etc. But during that season, DON’T GET DIVORCED.”
God knows, our Blended Family Hell on Earth miserably married seasons were HARD. VERY hard. But – news flash – you can’t be married 50 years and get to the good weather seasons if you split during the difficult weather seasons. Like the Storms of Life, marriages have the same storms and seasons.
Right now, divorce seems to be in the “in thing” to do. You swap out your spouse like you would trade in a car (just because it’s getting old and you’re feeling some miles). Blake and Miranda, Ben and Jen, and now even the Little People Big World couple. I turned that show on for the first time in ages this week and they were both talking about how they are going through this divorce. Really? That’s like the Duggers getting divorced. Come on now.
If others can stay miserably married during the difficult seasons, so can we. Just like our grandparents did back when people got married and stayed married. And one thing I’ve learned is that the seasons DO change. And for those of you going through a divorce right now or who have been divorced like we have… Get up. Dust off. Give your next marriage your ALL. Marry wisely (see my tips for online dating). Marry right. Then stay married even when it’s hard because it WILL have times when it’s hard.
I bet that teenager will think twice before asking me what I think about divorce in the future haha. I sure gave her an ear full.
And that’s my spill for today folks.
Coffee cheers your way.