A New Year (2015)

Here I am again with the Hubster looking back over our prior years goals and planning new ones.  This is our fifth New Year’s Eve together and our fifth time to make personal and family goals.  Unfortunately, we don’t usually meet our goals 100% of the time.  One year we wanted to have “family date night” every month all year, another year the goal was to exercise 3-4 times per week every week, another year was to pay off all unsecured debt, one year was to read the chronological Bible straight through cover to cover.  These are all good goals to have but you know what, life happens.  I believe that we should all have goals.  Tough ones.  Things that challenge us and encourage us to accomplish our goals.  But at the same time, I think we need to give ourselves a little grace when life does not turn out exactly as we planned.

I saw a tweet from Dave Ramsey recently that said “A new year is a fresh start.  A good reminder to learn from the past, but leave it there.  This clean slate is like GRACE.”

This is a GREAT goal for me this year.  Learning to leave the past where it belongs and to look ahead.  I love my husband like crazy and I cannot imagine ever being married to anyone else.  But at the same time, marriage is HARD.   It’s a lot of work.  This walk through Blended Family Hell on Earth and sometimes believing The Divorce Lie has been tough.  Last December I was truly believing the Divorce Lie.  Then this year we faced our biggest blended family challenge so far.  It was the first time that I actually contemplated moving out, getting my own place, and taking a “break” from our blended family pressures.  I even looked into a couple of condos near work.  Taking a break and getting some space isn’t the same as getting divorced right?

So, where are we now?  BETTER than a year ago.  Stronger.  Healthier.  Closer.  The challenges we faced forced us to communicate openly, honestly, and with full transparency and the results were amazing.  We are closer now than we have ever been.  As ridiculous as it sounds, strength training really works.  Having those weights placed on your relationship does make it hard and does make it work.  But just like working out with weights at the gym makes you stronger, those relationship weights made our relationship stronger.  Much stronger.

Through much prayer, journaling, and God-seeking, I stayed put when the going got tough.   And through open, honest, transparent communication with Hubster, we have had much healing and better yet, we have hope and a new excitement for our marriage.  In fact, this may be the most excited that I have ever been about our marriage future.

So, with this new year I am starting as a new woman (older, more mature, wiser, stronger, more in love, and filled with hope) taking this 2015 journey with a new man (also older, more mature, wiser, stronger, and refreshed by the Word) regardless of where that journey may take us.  Sickness or health, better or worse, richer or poorer, known and unknown.

To a new year, a fresh start and filled with love and grace.

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Phil 3:13-14

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3 Responses to A New Year (2015)

  1. mrsmariposa2014 says:

    Amen, sister. Right there with you. I can attest to times of believing that divorce lie. Anything to escape the hell of being pit between a well-meaning but heavy-handed, stubborn new dad and a stubborn, full-of-emotions-he-doesn’t-get autistic preteen. But for God and His amazing grace, I might’ve walked away and missed out on such beautiful growth, starting with my own. We aren’t there yet by a long shot but we’re pressing on. Blessings on your new year.

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