Relationship Boundaries – Dealing with Liars

Last night I went to dinner with my husband and was expressing my frustration about how difficult it is to deal with someone who lies practically every time they open their mouth.  At least it feels that way.  You cannot believe anything they say, you have to get proof of everything for yourself and now, recently, I have found that I have become defensive and feeling as though I am always having to prove that I am being honest because of the lies.

Then I remembered that God hates what I am dealing with too.  He hates lying.

Proverbs 6:16-19

These six things the LORD hates,
Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:

A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,

A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,

A false witness who speaks lies,
And one who sows discord among brethren.

I am not alone.  God absolutely hates those behaviors that I hate too.  Yes, truly truly I am dealing with someone who has a lying tongue, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness, and one who sows discord among brethren (i.e. my family).

Unfortunately, you cannot choose your family members so you just have to learn to cope with them, learn to love them (like love your enemies and bless those who curse you), and work to maintain your own principals in your actions and reactions regardless of others actions and behaviors. The good old spiritual strength training lesson found in Galatians 6:9. “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

Honestly, maintaining that mindset and balance is difficult.  That is one of the reasons why I bought the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  I am learning that you can forgive others and allow yourself freedom from bitterness while also holding others accountable for their actions and setting up healthy boundaries.  I heard a pastor say recently in a sermon, you can forgive others.  Meanwhile, there is a process to reconciliation.  (I believe the topic was abuse).  Forgiveness and reconciliation are different.  And I’m learning that not all relationships are good for reconciliation.  That very fine line is the tightrope that I am learning to walk on.  Stepping one foot in front of the other while making sure not to lean too far to the left or right so that I don’t fall off.

And in the process, still finding the heavenly bouquets that God leaves along the journey.

Social media hugs to my fellow bloggers.

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2 Responses to Relationship Boundaries – Dealing with Liars

  1. Savannah says:

    Thank you for your posts. I’m currently dealing with being separated and alienated from my small children who are 1,and 5. I currently don’t have a lawyer and have been painfully representing myself. Their father also feels like he can do whatever he wants in his vindictiveness and spite as consequence my children are constantly the ones who are hurt and suffer the most. I have grown quite weary and very close to just giving up. Your writing along with the bible verses you’ve listed have been a source of encouragement and comfort. So again thank you!

  2. mrsmariposa2014 says:

    Oh how well I know. My ex husband was and is an adept liar. When the Lord asked me to let go of bitterness, forgive, and pray for him and his new wife, it was such a wrestling match! But, the more I did, the more peace reigned in my house and in every conversation he and I had. Today, because he gave up parental rights to allow my hubby to adopt, our contact is infrequent, but, he does know he can call and ask for prayer, and prays for us in return.So glad to find someone else talking about these things and putting valuable scripture out there.:) Blessings!

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