A little over a year ago God started prompting me about the fact that I am light. At first, I was like yeah yeah yeah I know I know, we are all salt and light. In my quick-witted, sarcastic type humor I replied, “yeah, but I’m only a 40 watt light”. I could feel God nod at me totally understanding what I meant meanwhile letting me think that I had the last word. Yeah, right.
I have friends who are 400-watt light bulbs (yes, those exist), and 100-watt light bulbs. So why in the world would God want to use a 40-watt light bulb anyway? Puh-leaze.
If you know me at all, you know that I am NOT at all the “good Christian type”. I am a blunt, tell you like it is, open and honest, NOT politically correct, girl who speaks her mind. Certainly not the politically correct, keep your legs crossed, always smiling, kisses on all the babies at church girl that comes to my mind when I think of a “good Christian girl”. And, when I had the realization that God is Real, I was a complete hot mess with tons of baggage. And not little baggage or small messes. I love love love God back, but for whatever reason I just seem to still fail in the flesh. You know, my “spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt 26:41).
So, at life group tonight the topic of Discipleship came up. Since I’m married to Mr. Discipleship my ears perked up. I was interested. Then Mr. Lock chimed in that he honestly does good to make it through the day without saying a cuss word. I got all excited because sometimes I feel the same way. Especially on blended family hell days. Then, Mr. Ed looked right at me and said, “you’re still light” though. Ha ha, “a 40-watt light though” I thought in my head. Then I remembered my light notes.
When God starts prompting me on topics, I have to write them down just so that I can move on with life. Kind of like my grocery list. That item replays in my mind over and over and over until I write it down.
Tonight after life group, I found the light notes on my phone. And I liked them so much this time that I decided to share them with my blog friends. Here they are:
157 days ago on April 14, 2013
I’m a 40-watt light bulb. Isn’t that funny? That does not seem like much light. Sitting in my bedroom with the blinds open and sunlight pouring in, I cannot even tell that the 40-watt lamp on my nightstand is turned on. It’s not brightening the room at all. But, as the sun sets, the room becomes very dark. Pitch black actually. And that same 40-watt bulb is now very bright.
Maybe our lights don’t change wattage. Maybe they do. But, nevertheless, our lights shine ever so brightly when our surroundings change. As the world gets darker, our lights shine brighter. Yes, we are light.
Lord, for the sake of the world, burn like a fire in me. For those in darkness. For those who are hopeless. For those who have given up on you. For those who have given up on church. For those trapped in sin who feel like they will never be free again. For those bound in chains and addictions. For those who wish they were dead. For this dark world.
Theme song: For the Sake of the World by Bethel Live