I literally just let out a long deep sigh. It’s free therapy time. My gosh I love blog hop days!!!
So, never alone? Then why do I feel so alone at times?
Partly because I have trust issues. But I also call that wisdom LOL. 18 years in the legal field has taught me that youth pastors can be child molesters, deacons can be adulterers who sleep with church secretaries, angry teenagers murder their parents, etc. I mean it was a disciple who stole from the treasury and sold Jesus out. The heart truly is deceitful and wicked. Who can know it? (Jer 17:9). So, I do LOVE meeting new people, but I am slow to trust them. Human nature makes me very nervous. When I see people trash others behind their backs, I know full well not to share my life with them and warning flags go up on high alert.
My life is usually relatively drama free and actually borderline boring (unless we are having blended family hell on earth baby mama drama). Just ask my 18-year-old daughter. She says “I don’t want to be like y’all when I’m married. You guys are boring”. We are predictable and reliable. We are either at work, at the gym, at church, at the grocery store, or doing something with one of our 4-5 children depending on who is home that day. We do that day after day, week after week, year after year.
Well, thank you Stress less Bible Study testing, last week was one of the most stressful weeks we have EVER had. Don’t you love how you get tested on every topic you study? I should have RAN from this one!!! My husband agreed that in 3 years of marriage he cannot recall a time that involved so many different things thrown into one week from so many different directions. For illustration only which doesn’t include everything by any means:
- Teenage daughter called me from school very upset (don’t mess with my baby);
- An hour later the school called and the youngest child in the house was ill with a 102 degree fever;
- It was the younger daughter’s birthday;
- We missed the older boys choir performance due to sick child (husband made it);
- The other child in elementary came home from school ill the next day;
- My husband’s employer started a huge round of layoffs and terminations that greatly affect his department and that he could very well be included in.
I was reminded that everything that CAN be shaken WILL BE shaken so that only unshakable things will remain (Heb 12:27). Our life is certainly no exception. We were told that in this life we WOULD have troubles. That’s just how it is.
Tuesday I was sitting on the back porch couch with a cup of coffee when I got to pages 95-97 about Hannah being stressed beyond belief desperately needing change when she cried out to God “if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me” 1 Sam 1:11. She wanted to be touched by God. She held nothing back. And Hannah received a word of encouragement from Eli. And that was my “never alone” moment.
A few hours later I received a text from a friend inviting me to walk with her sometime soon. Later that evening I received a text from my mom just checking in on me. I told her I was just sitting here feeling sorry for my pitiful self and that in that process God reminded me that there are still Eli’s out there that come alongside us and walk with us for a while providing moments of relaxation and genuine care and concern and encouragement. We truly are “never alone”.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalms 73:26. My flesh and heart have failed me often this past week, but God truly is my portion and makes up for my human-ness as the book said. And this week I am VERY thankful for my Proverb 31 sisters and free blog hop therapy. It is truly why I stay involved in these online bible studies. Without them I would be so tempted to focus on my problems rather than on the God of the universe who CANNOT be shaken. We will face troubles. We will be shaken. But we are NEVER ALONE!
Blog hugs and prayers your way. We are all in this together.