Since today is Valentine’s Day (the 4th one I’ve spent with my hunky eHarmony husband), I’ve chosen this topic for the blog hop assignment.
Question: Of the five biblical dance steps in Chapter 4, which ones do you find the easiest to follow? Are there any you find a wee bit more challenging?
My favorite of all of the steps listed is Step 5. Recognize when you need dancing lessons from a pro. Now I know the book was referring to wise biblical marriage counseling and mentors. But I’ve got to say that I think that ALL marriages need to take professional dancing lessons including, but not limited to, pre-marital counseling; reading books and listening to CDs about key marriage ingredients; accountability to each other by having a monthly “clean slate night” (communication night); weekly or biweekly date nights (not discussing the kids and endless to do lists but having fun like you did when you first met – heavy flirting ladies); friends that are pro marriage and encourage you in your marriage; and most importantly realizing that GOD IS our professional dance instructor and that each spouse is the student.
Yes, the man leads the dance with the wife (by example – he covers, protects, prays over, provides for, nourishes, sets the standards). But the husband has a leader as well. “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Cor 11:3.
I find it an absolute honor to follow a man who follows Christ. As he strives to be more like Christ, and I strive to be more like my leader husband, and the more like Christ we both become (more patient, gentle, long suffering, forgiving, willing to allow love to cover a multitude of sins and our mistakes with each other, etc.).
In fact, my husband calls me his “mirror image”. And that was BEFORE Justin Timberlake made that concept famous. Meaning, he holds himself accountable, to a degree, for my behavior. For example, when I met my man he really did not receive my compliments. He did not like to be gushed over. So, I stopped receiving his compliments too. If he told me I looked beautiful I just shrugged my shoulders, said thanks, and went on about my business. When he asked me why, I told him it was because he doesn’t receive my compliments so I don’t want to receive his anymore. Ah Hah. He remembered his mirror image theory and began receiving my compliments knowing that as a child mimics the behavior of the parent, I mimic the behavior of my husband (unless you’ve seen me spouting off because my man doesn’t do that and he’s really helping and training me to hold my tongue better. Well he’s trying to help me tame that wild beast anyway LOL). And he is aware that if he leads poorly or behaves badly, that he is leading me toward ugly behavior as well. He is aware that I will do as he does. And he leads accordingly.
I LOVE following his lead in our personal marriage dance and it is an absolute honor and privilege to follow a man who first follows the Lord.
Being the woman at the well before Christ, I have WAY MORE experience than I should have on marriage and divorce. And if I could give single and divorced women a chapter of the Bible to hold onto, this would be it. It changed my life. 1 Cor 7.
(Starting at verse 8) It is better to remain single. To the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried. A single person can be concerned solely with the Lords affairs and how he or she can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of the world – how he can please his wife and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirt… I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (Back to verse 1). It is good not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband…
Being single is NOT some lessor than, half baked relationship state. It is absolutely a state of wholeness to be dedicated to God. And then, when the RIGHT parter comes along that follows Christ and makes you a better Christian, wa la. No boy can fill a void in your life or make you whole. God makes us whole. Then marriage chips away at our ugliness to make us more like Christ. Marriage is a tool to holiness. Not the filling of emptiness. Like the book said, even a great spouse makes a lousy God. There is only 1 God and that is who we both follow in this marriage dance.
I am so thankful that I married Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now (…this time).
Until death do us part sugar booger.