Stand By Your Man (Let It Go Bible Study Week 2)

Since today is Valentine’s Day (the 4th one I’ve spent with my hunky eHarmony husband), I’ve chosen this topic for the blog hop assignment.

Question:  Of the five biblical dance steps in Chapter 4, which ones do you find the easiest to follow?  Are there any you find a wee bit more challenging?

My favorite of all of the steps listed is Step 5.  Recognize when you need dancing lessons from a pro.  Now I know the book was referring to wise biblical marriage counseling and mentors.  But I’ve got to say that I think that ALL marriages need to take professional dancing lessons including, but not limited to, pre-marital counseling; reading books and listening to CDs about key marriage ingredients; accountability to each other by having a monthly “clean slate night” (communication night); weekly or biweekly date nights (not discussing the kids and endless to do lists but having fun like you did when you first met – heavy flirting ladies); friends that are pro marriage and encourage you in your marriage; and most importantly realizing that GOD IS our professional dance instructor and that each spouse is the student.

Yes, the man leads the dance with the wife (by example – he covers, protects, prays over, provides for, nourishes, sets the standards).  But the husband has a leader as well.  “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Cor 11:3.

I find it an absolute honor to follow a man who follows Christ.  As he strives to be more like Christ, and I strive to be more like my leader husband, and the more like Christ we both become (more patient, gentle, long suffering, forgiving, willing to allow love to cover a multitude of sins and our mistakes with each other, etc.).

In fact, my husband calls me his “mirror image”.  And that was BEFORE Justin Timberlake made that concept famous.  Meaning, he holds himself accountable, to a degree, for my behavior.  For example, when I met my man he really did not receive my compliments.  He did not like to be gushed over.  So, I stopped receiving his compliments too.  If he told me I looked beautiful I just shrugged my shoulders, said thanks, and went on about my business.  When he asked me why, I told him it was because he doesn’t receive my compliments so I don’t want to receive his anymore.  Ah Hah.  He remembered his mirror image theory and began receiving my compliments knowing that as a child mimics the behavior of the parent, I mimic the behavior of my husband (unless you’ve seen me spouting off because my man doesn’t do that and he’s really helping and training me to hold my tongue better.  Well he’s trying to help me tame that wild beast anyway LOL). And he is aware that if he leads poorly or behaves badly, that he is leading me toward ugly behavior as well.  He is aware that I will do as he does. And he leads accordingly.

I LOVE following his lead in our personal marriage dance and it is an absolute honor and privilege to follow a man who first follows the Lord.

Being the woman at the well before Christ, I have WAY MORE experience than I should have on marriage and divorce.  And if I could give single and divorced women a chapter of the Bible to hold onto, this would be it.  It changed my life.  1 Cor 7.

(Starting at verse 8) It is better to remain single.  To the unmarried and the widows I say:  It is good for them to stay unmarried.  A single person can be concerned solely with the Lords affairs and how he or she can please the Lord.  But a married man is concerned about the affairs of the world – how he can please his wife and his interests are divided.  An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs.  Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirt… I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.  (Back to verse 1).  It is good not to marry.  But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband…

Being single is NOT some lessor than, half baked relationship state.  It is absolutely a state of wholeness to be dedicated to God.  And then, when the RIGHT parter comes along that follows Christ and makes you a better Christian, wa la.  No boy can fill a void in your life or make you whole.  God makes us whole.  Then marriage chips away at our ugliness to make us more like Christ.  Marriage is a tool to holiness.  Not the filling of emptiness.  Like the book said, even a great spouse makes a lousy God.  There is only 1 God and that is who we both follow in this marriage dance.

I am so thankful that I married Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now (…this time).

Until death do us part sugar booger.

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6 Responses to Stand By Your Man (Let It Go Bible Study Week 2)

  1. Jennifer N (OBS Leadership Team) says:

    Oh wow! I loved this post and your weaving of Scripture in for those who are yet to be married. I totally agree that it is good to dedicate yourself to the Lord and when the time comes along, He will have a suitable mate. Our marriage started out rocky, and at times, to this day, my husband refers to me as the spiritual head of the household. NOT SO! I tell Him about what the Bible says about that. He used to read it a lot but not so much anymore. This has caused a lot of the issues we have. I pray often for him and hope that one day he truly steps up more in this role. Thank you for sharing!

  2. prince26155 says:

    You are so right that all couple should have counseling before marriage, good, godly counseling. I can see in my own life this “mirror image” theory at work. I never thought about it, but you are right. Such wonderful advice to the married, the someday to be married, and to the single.

  3. Loved this post thanks for sharing! I loved the advice to singles because so many times they are looked on by society as lesser and that is so not true. In God’s eye we are all the same and he loves us all unconditionally!

    Thanks again! Good luck in your marriage dance it definitely sounds like you have a great foothold to build on:)

    Amanda G.
    Melissa Taylor’s OBS leader

  4. sharon bell says:

    first i would like to say thank God for you and that your writings are such a blessing to my life and walk. I prais the name of Jesus that he lead me to read your teaching, may his blessing always fall heavey apon your menstery and life and your church, and family again I thank you for being his sirvent and my sister in the lord. I would like to ask you with a humbel heart to pray for my husband Aaron Bell and my marriage to be restored. I love God with all my heart, I am so thankful to be his child and your sister. I live in Muncie Indiana. God bless you and please know that you are a blessing to my life. I would like to share my story with you, I know you must be very bissy so I will not take to much of your time.
    i am standing on Gods word for my marriage. Its has been the hardest thing Ive been through in my life and walk with the Lord, but I am thankful at the same time because it has brought me closer to Jesus then I ever was, and i know that my husband will come back to me because his life is better with me. I also know that God is not a man that he could lie and that God will restore the years that have been stolen in our marriage. I have been married twenty three years and the last two my husband has been back and forth with a much younger woman. However I know he is deceived and backslide when I told the lord that I love my husband for better or worse I didnt say well Lord as long as everything goes my way then and only then will I stay in this marriage. yes I have my days on top of the mountan and my days in the valley. I am looked on by people in the world and in the church as week, however that is far from true it takes great strength to stand on Gods word for your marriage, to take God at his word to keep asking when everyone around you thinks its hopeless. the girl has been very mean to me said every hurtful thing she could come up with time after time. however our father is so great not only has he made a way for me to forgive her over and over. I pray for her not just that God would turn her heart from my husband but that he would save her that no harm would come to her, and that she would never know my pain. I also pray day and night with out ceasing for my husband to come to himself and return to his first love Jesus that he would know what is good and true and be set free from bondage. what is really sad to me is that many Christians give the same advise as the world gives move on find another man, my reply is always the same show where Jesus said that in his word. many people say thy want to be like Jesus until thy are called to be. I ask God most days to make me the wife he wants me to be and I remind myself that love covers a multude of sin, and love is not just a word is is a way of life when we look to Jesus and that God said he made us one so many time when I pray I ask God to to set me free from the other woman and to bring me home to him and my wife, we just have got to get to a place where we rely belive Gods word and live like we do. i am thankful for your site and I am thankfull I came across it today becouse, so many times people say just thank God and be happy thy say where is your joy, the thing is when your husband is in the world and was once a man of God and you are one with him, you have a berden and a berden dose not meen joy. all my hope is in God I know all I can do is to keep it before him, untill he brings Aaron back to himself and me his wife, thank you Go bless you from my heart inJesus name

    • godizreal says:

      Wow, you really look like the verses in Luke 6:27-36. “If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also…if you love only those who love you, why should you take credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much… Love your enemies! Do good to them.” You are a gracious woman. Prayers and hugs to you. You may find comfort in the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. It says that marriage is to make us holy not happy. It is where we experience learning HOW to be patient, long suffering, forgiving. etc. So so true.

      • sharon bell says:

        Thank you so much prayer is the greatest gift we can ever give anyone, and the fact that you would take time to go before our father on behafe of my husband and marriage, is a true gift to my heart, so I thank you with a greatful heart. May the blessings of God overtake you and may your page reach many heart for God. your sister Sharon

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