This past week has been like the movie The Wizard of Oz for me. I feel as though I’ve been hanging out in my closet digging for a pair of red bling shoes so I can click my heals together and repeat “there’s no place like home”, “there’s no place like home” “there’s no place like home”. But, there are no such shoes in my closet. I have silver bling shoes. But not red ones. And click as I might, I know God has us planted here for a season and a reason. So here’s my new home.
My last post this past Saturday was called We are Like a Soda Fountion (aka Relationship Chemistry & Mentorship) which I wrote after I attended a Women’s Ministry gathering at one of the many new churches we have visited. And I left heavy hearted and sad. Not because there aren’t fabulous women there. There are. But because MY women’s ministry family (& my new BFFs) weren’t there. I know we are ALL really brothers and sisters in Christ and we are ALL church family. I’m just saying I miss MY family.) I never would have known that moving would be so difficult on that level.
Have you heard that saying “home is where the heart is”? Well, let me tell you… my heart is officially divided. It is somewhere in the metroplex with my husband and what’s best for his children, but also back home in Texoma where time goes much slower and family reunions occur downtown at the Christmas Parade. My Main Street friends know what I’m saying.
Pros: I LOVE that my husband is not commuting 20 hours per week; he’s home for dinner every night; we actually have a life and enjoy family time together; I’m no longer a single mom of 5 kids; our kids are active with other neighborhood kids; we no longer spend $1,000.00 per month on gas, tolls and vehicle maintenance; our special needs son finally has access to much needed dyslexia services, we live closer to my husband’s daughter, and the list goes on and on. BUT…. There are still cons.
Cons: I desperately miss my friends and church family. I was in Texoma working today at the office and decided to sneak into Covenant Church Texoma tonight to see my favorite ladies for the Wed night service. I knew they’d be there. Because they are the die hard, love God, hunger for God, thirst for God, the glass is always half full, never give up, mid-week services AND Sunday services AND bible study, tried and true followers of Christ. And guess what? I cried after I left. Partly because I was so excited and happy to see them that my heart was overjoyed, and partly because it felt like I got kicked in the gut when I left. It felt like time went by so fast and I didn’t get to go by and visit with G & Julie like old times (girl I miss you like crazy… but I LOVED seeing your baby in person for the first time) and Misty wasn’t there for me to hug her neck and I wanted to see her (praise God her husband’s leg amputation went fabulously. Pastor James went Hammer Time for you guys tonight.). My hugs and kisses and prayers and catching up with my favorite ladies was just not complete. So I was sad.
Most of all I miss my girlfriends and mentors. If I had to describe it, I would say that visually, I’ve become like a crochet or knitted scarf. At some point back in time, I was a single color or single strand of yarn. But time with my girls transformed my yarn strand into a beautiful, functional scarf with purpose (for ex. that can be worn in cold weather). I’m still human. So there are some snags in the scarf and places that don’t look professionally sown because it was knitted by hand. But still … before Covenant Church, I was still only a single strand of yarn. They made me better. And God in them transformed me. I’m no longer me, but a combination of a little bit of me and a little bit of each of them.
You guys really look like John 13:35. “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” I sure miss y’all and am so thankful that you guys are there to light up Texoma!
“May the Lord bless you and protect you, May the Lord smile upon you and be gracious to you, May the Lord show you His favor and give you peace”. Amen. Numbers 6:24-26.
Social media hugs.